Do Not Feed the Fears
I usually write after a WOD, but today’s WOD is giving me such anxiety I need to write before it as well.
75 Box Jump Burpees, with some running thrown in.
The only way I could hate this workout more? If it was a box jump burpee wall ball. Do they have those? I hope to Gd not. Ever since I saw this WOD on the website last night, I’ve had a stomach ache. Bad enough that I could of called into work today, but that would be ridiculous. Years of therapy has taught me that when I have this kind of reaction to something, I need to simply ask myself the following question:
What am I afraid of?
I thought about this all day and I’m trying to talk myself down. Here are the bulletpoints of the discussion I’ve been having in my brain:
Fear: Maybe I’m scared that I can’t do it.
Counterpoint: If you can’t do it, your coach will scale you. He is smart and knows what you are capable of…even if you don’t.
Fear: What if I suck?
Counterpoint: At what point did you ever not suck? That’s the point of Crossfit…finding what you suck at and working at it. No one is going to make fun of you. Remember a few weeks ago when you fell on your ass from a standing position while trying to do an over head squat? No one pointed and laughed. And even if they did…it’s ok. It was funny.
Fear: What if its going to hurt?
Counterpoint: It’s going to hurt. That’s ok.
I think my real issue is that mentally I don’t have what it takes to get through this workout. I can hear the school girl’s chorus in my head. “Rachel can’t do this, Rachel can’t do this. ”The school girl choir sucks. But my brain is behind that choir. I just have to listen to the louder voices, the ones saying “You are going to do this.”
This whole pushing myself thing is harder that I thought.
"Fight Gone Bad"
wall balls (20/14#)
box jumps (20")
push press (75/55#)
row for calories
rest 1 minute
*spend 1 minute at each station before resting for one minute